Archive for July, 2006
275 – Van Helsing
Posted by frothy in Van Helsing on July 30, 2006
Despite awful reviews and box office, this isn’t quite that terrible. Granted, it’s not exactly mind-blowing escapist fun, with loads of unintentionally funny moments, but not an entire disgrace. Maybe it just plays better on hte small screen, where typically our expectations are a little lower than they are for films seen in the theater.
Hugh Jackman plays Gabriel Van Helsing, a man on a mission from the Vatican to rid the world of evil, evil, and more evil. His latest objective is to stop Count Dracula in Transylvania, where apparently the ageless nobleman has been terrorizing the neighboring village, particularly one Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale), who’s the last in her family, and apparently if she dies the Count will be free to live in perpetuity, or something. What’s important is that she’s the last one. And the Count’s forever trying to kill her by sending his three harpies/wives to get her, but they haven’t succeeded.
In addition to Dracula, other literary characters include Frankenstein’s Monster (and Frankenstein himself), Igor, the Wolf Man, and Mr. Hyde, with an allusion to the good Dr. Jekyll. All of whom are meant to distract you from the fact that the movie is a lot of furious anger.
This is one of those movies in which people get thrown off of castle parapets and hurled against walls
- and seemingly suffer nothing more than the occasional owie. I mean, we know
Dracula’s pretty much immortal, but Van Helsing and Anna aren’t, and yet there they are, swinging madly from ropes into plate-glass windows and such. It’s not so much maddening as it’s a sign of sorts, that this is simply not a movie to be Thought About much.
All in all, it’s pretty much a heap of junk. Beckinsale is really pretty good in it – if you liked her in Underworld, you’ll like her here – but poor Hugh Jackman is dull. And it’s just not entirely his fault; the script, from the dialog to the stunts, are boring as hell. Jackman’s not given a lot to work with here; he grunts menacingly, tilts his head with authority, and beats monsters up. Ho hum. At one point, he bears an uncanny resemblence to wrestling’s The Undertaker, and frankly I think the producers here could have just used the ‘Taker instead and saved Mr. Jackman’s prodigious salary. At least then we could have viewed this as a campy piece of schlock, but alas – no.
It’s kind of a comedown for director Stephen Sommers, who gave us the two recent Mummy movies, but those films had far better CGI - and a better storyline. This one gets convoluted toward
the end, and yet it remains precdictable and trite.
**
Father of the Bride (1950)
Posted by frothy in Father of the Bride (1950) on July 29, 2006
Yes, this may come as a surprise to some of you out there, but the 1991 Steve Martin film of the same name was a remake of this 1950 gem starring Spencer Tracy as the harried papa and a young Elizabeth Taylor as the bride to be. Good news, too; not only is the original a wonderful film, viewing it won’t make you completely eschew the remake, because although Martin’s version was fun and sincere, it was much more of a slapstick movie than Tracy’s.
Tracy is curmudgeonly Stanley, Joan Bennett plays his loving/knowing wife Ellie, Taylor is the sprightly Kay, and Russ Tamblyn plays the son, although he doesn’t get nearly the number of witty side remarks that Kieran Culkin would get in 1991. Poor Stanley! Like Martin’s George, Stanley’s beset by an optimistic daughter whom he still regards as an adorable little girl AND by a wife who doesn’t seem to appreciate that their daughter will soon be gone forever. Well, at least until she needs money. We get the requisite “let’s invite only a few people” bit, and the run-in with the caterer (Leo G. Carroll), who advises to Bankses to take out doors and remove furniture so that everyone can fit in the house for the reception.
But where the later version would concentrate on Martin’s ability to scrape laughs out of ordinary situations, the 1950 classic tugs a bit more strongly on one’s heartstrings; particular attention is paid to Stanley’s efforts to say goodbye to his “Kitten” one last time as the reception is ending – only to see, as would George in 1991, those efforts be in vain.
Tracy is really fantastic here, showing a good sense of balance between sentimentality and wry humor – without drowning in maudlin oh-woe-is-me victimization. And Taylor! Her magnificent, dancing eyes! Sure, to look at her now in 2006, you’d not make the connection of Liz Taylor = beautiful, but trust me – in the fifties she was stunning. I almost wish this movie were in color so I could see how violet her eyes truly were. Anyway, she’s great, Tracy’s great, and the entire supporting cast is a lot of fun. The movie feels honest and sincere and is a true American classic.
****
The Devil’s Advocate (1997)
Posted by frothy in Devil's Advocate (1997) on July 23, 2006
Keanu Reeves is a hotshot Florida lawyer who’s never lost a case, and he gets an odd invitation to join a high-powered New York firm headed by Al Pacino. Kevin Lomax (Reeves) is slick, but he and his small-town bride Mary Ann (Charlize Theron) aren’t really prepared for the high pressure, high fashion, and high living among the upper crust in the Big Apple.
Why does the firm want Kevin, and why is John Milton (Pacino) always laughing and smiling, even as things go awry? Is something afoot? Meanwhile, various wives of the other lawyers befriend Mary Ann and help her buy new clothes and decorate the new apartment and stuff. You know, wifely duties. Leave the gruntin’ and lawyerin’ to the husbands.
Did I mention Kevin’s never lost a case? Hmm, could that be a set up? Could he now be about to lose the case…. for his soul? (Cue evil laughter.) Well, it’s not giving away much at all to note that John’s relationship to Kevin isn’t just that of an interested mentor, it’s a tad closer, and perhaps a bit more devilish. And then strange things begin to happen, as those who might stand in Kevin’s way are suddenly no longer in the way, and then Mary Ann goes a bit nutso, and then all hell breaks loose.
Pacino is great, in full-on, late-nineties, over-the-top Pacino mode, but Reeves is abysmally awful, severely miscast. Rumor has it that Brad Pitt was also up for the role, and frankly that might have been quite an improvement. Reeves brings his usual dull, monotonic, colorless performance; what he sometimes lacks in verve he makes up for in screaming – and believe me, he’s no ace at screaming. Theron makes a lot out of a piddling spouse-in-peril role; it’s clear she was destined for greater things. An able supporting cast helps, particularly Judith Ivey as Kevin’s churchly mom.
***
The Day of the Locust (1975)
Posted by frothy in Day of the Locust (1975) on July 23, 2006
The death of dreams in Tinseltown is examined in this often-somber drama as told through the eyes of a naive young artist, Tod Hackett (William Atherton, who would go on to a career of cads and bad guys). In focus is Hackett’s relationship with glamorous wannabe movie star, Faye Greener (Karen Black), who alternately wants attention and hates people; other characters include Faye’s father Harry (Burgess Meredith) and other suitors, such as the nearly invisible Homer Simpson (Donald Sutherland). Crushed idealism seems to rule the day, as the overarching lesson that many people starve looking for fame in Hollywood is drummed into the minds of the viewer over and over again, eventually leading to unpredictable tragedy. It doesn’t help that the characters aren’t terribly appealing – although Atherton’s naif is kind of adorable in an innocence-lost sort of way, but eventually one wonders what the point really is. The ending seems to come from out of nowhere. Many critics thought this was a masterpiece, but perhaps the window of three decades or more is needed to provide the correct perspective.
Bride of Blurbians
Posted by frothy in Beverly Hills Cop (1984), Hard Day's Night (1964), MASH (1970), Major League (1989), Misery (1990), Pump Up the Volume (1989) on July 17, 2006
Misery (1990) ***1/2 Electrifying, shocking (at the time) drama about a once-popular novelist who’s just killed off his main character – and who is now trapped in a snowbound cabin with his number-one fan, who’s none too pleased. Grisly at times, but taut direction and strong performances by James Caan and Kathy Bates are huge assets. One of the few adaptations of Stephen King stories to succeed on the big screen.
M*A*S*H (1970) ***1/2 Acerbic, knowing satire of war in general, this one centering on the conflict in Korea. Decidedly non-PC – can you imagine a character named Spearchucker in a movie from today? – Robert Altman succeeds in skewering the hypocrisy of armed conflict. Stellar ensemble cast, including Donald Sutherland, Robert Duvall, Elliot Gould, and Tom Skerrit.
Beverly Hills Cop (1984) ***1/2 Eddie Murphy’s iconic Axel Foley travels from the mean streets of Detroit to solve a buddy’s murder out in the titular town, running into bad guys and dumb, clean cops galore. Film notable for Murphy’s commanding performance, including his rousting of a redneck bar. Excellent soundtrack.
Pump Up The Volume (1990) *** Rebellious teen runs a pirate radio station from the back of his car, raises rabble (students) against The Man (teachers, admins). Christian Slater brings a cocky nihilism to the proceedings in an underrated performance. Great soundtrack.
Major League (1989) *** The Cleveland Indians stink and play to empty stadiums at home, so their new owner wants them to stink even more so she can justify moving them to Florida. Guess what happens. Great baseball scenes, and the cast – including Tom Berenger, Corbin Bernsen, and Charlie Sheen has a good time. Yes, it’s true; Wild Thing makes our heart sing.
A Hard Day’s Night (1964) **** A day in the life of the Fab Four as imagined by director Richard Lester. Plenty of hit Beatles tunes; free-form plot serves the free spirits of the group very well.
Give me something to write on, man
All of the old IMDb reviews, including many that weren’t on MovieMansion, are now on this site. If you go to the main page, you can scroll down to see each reviewed/blurbed movie.
But our work is not yet done, is it?
List up to five (5) movies for which I’ve not done a review or blurb. I’ll blurbify them. There are some 2300 to choose from, so it shouldn’t be too tough on you.
Luckily, there aren’t a lot of people reading this blog, so this won’t be too tough on me, either. 
Hamlet (1948)
Posted by frothy in Hamlet (1948) on July 13, 2006
Hamlet (1948) ****
Visually stunning, Laurence Olivier’s near-flawless adaptation of William Shakespeare’s masterpiece is mostly true to the original script, suffering only slightly in the casting of Jean Simmons as Ophelia. But that trifle complaint aside, there’s really not much to dislike about Olivier’s performances behind and before the camera. The lighting is a particular treat, owing a lot to Olivier’s rival Orson Welles and his Citizen Kane seven years prior. The angular sets make for very stark, imposing scenes whether highlighting Hamlet’s barely contained rage, or juxtaposing it with his ”put-on” madness.
Was Hamlet mad? Olivier’s definitive portrayal seems to indicate so. My impression from watching the master is that Hamlet was not, then pretended he was, then was. A lesser thespian would have come across as wholly hammy, moving among degrees of sanity, but Olivier’s perfect work here is heavily nuanced; each syllable is both deliberate and soulful, a tough combination to find.
The rest of the cast is a marvel, although Simmons seemed a bit out of her depth. Still, as with Hamlet in the play, Olivier is all the show you need here. Watch for Peter Cushing as Osric, Stanley Holloway as the Gravedigger, and an unbilled Christopher Lee as a spearman.
West Side Story – not a snap judgment
Posted by frothy in West Side Story (1961) on July 11, 2006
I should have known this would be trouble from the get-go, when the dopey dancing lads couldn’t even snap their fingers in unison. Here I thought the choreography was supposed to be amazing, and they’re already out of sync.
This wasn’t my cup of tea anyway – though I don’t have an aversion to musicals – but I do understand how people could like it. So I won’t think of ragging on those who loved the everlovin’ crap out of this.
One thing that principally bothered me is that although the movie tackles a fairly serious theme of discriminatory, not-one-of-us mentalities, that’s where the realism ended, from finger snapping wusses who would be broken by a nine year old girl to a distinct and blunt absence of African Americans in what’s purported to be a rather hetergenous slum of New York City.
These dopes were about as intimidating as a banana split, looking and acting much more like refugees from a Gap commercial than gang toughs. Gang toughs! Ha! Only gang these losers would be in would be the Gang of the Eternally Pushed Around.
The women clearly outshine the men in this one, with Natalie Wood and especially Rita Moreno acting circles around Russ Tamblyn, Richard Beymer, and Beymer’s enormous teeth. Maybe someone should hook him up with the newly single Hilary Swank, although the dental collision might set up Armageddon.
There are plenty of songs, most of which work, but somewhat distressing is hearing Natalie Wood sing. She didn’t sing; her voice was dubbed by Marni Nixon, whose voice really doesn’t sound a lot like Wood’s speaking voice, and the result is a little jarring. The other kids can sing, somewhat – again, especially Moreno, who’s wonderful and who won a deserved Oscar for her work here. But it’s just incongruous, all this singing and dancing in a supposedly tough environment, particularly from Crazy!Sexy!Cool! nitwits in khakis and sour attitudes.
Again, I realize that even though this isn’t MY kind of movie, it’s not as if people who do like it lack taste entirely. Some of you waxed rather romantic over it; I respect your opinion.
274 – Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
Posted by frothy in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest on July 8, 2006
Dead Man’s Chest, the middle child in the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy-to-be, really is a lot of fun, if not as wowing as the original. The main story – Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) must come up with 100 souls to satisfy a debt to supernatural Davy Jones (Bill Nighy), while Will (Orlando Bloom) must retrieve Jack’s compass to save Elizabeth (Keira Knightley) from certain death – happily takes center stage, relegating the latter’s romance to second-banana status. And that’s a jolly good thing, too, because if there’s anything to sink this wave-soaring vessel, it’d be a treacly kissy-kissy subplot.
From the outset, bad things are afoot. Jack finds out the time’s come to repay his debt to Jones, who commands a huge kraken to destroy ships. So Jack sets aground on a small island, which unfortunately is the home to a cannibal tribe. It’s okay, though, because they think Jack’s their god, but not so okay when they decide they need to free him from his fleshy existence – by killing and eating his crew.
Will’s sent by the new Lord, Cutler Beckett, to grab Jack’s compass, else Will and Elizabeth will be killed. See, the compass leads to a key, which leads to a chest, the chest of one Davy Jones, and isn’t it nice when the plot kind of comes full circle like that?
I’ve always loved Johnny Depp. This is his first time in which he plays the same character in more than one movie; he’s long been known as a stylish character actor, and the original Pirates made him more of a leading man. His Jack Sparrow is at once iconic and iconoclastic, daring you to like him and root for him despite all evidence to the contrary. Is he a treacherous scoundrel, or will he fight for his friends? Depp is clearly in his element here, making Sparrow his own – I don’t think Disney would be able to find a suitable replacement, should the need arise.
Bloom his more than his equal as Will Turner, which was a bit of a surprise. I liked him in the original, of course, but I thought he was a bit overshadowed by the nuanced Depp performance. Bloom’s Turner here, though, is more commanding and charismatic, idealistic where Sparrow is ambiguous, a powerful performance.
Knightley could have been just another pretty face, pouting and showing off her gleaming choppers, she instead is every bit as towering and rambunctious as her male counterparts, slashing and dashing about in a mad frenzy of catlike grace. Compare her work here to that in Domino, which featured a modicum of violence of its own sort, and it’s a favorable comparison indeed. Where’s the mouselike Knightley I see on red carpets?
The final big star of the movie is the special effects and action scenes, from the massive kraken to sinking boats, from plenty of swordplay to chases through jungles and forests. It’s a true testament to the onscreen magic that while one never stops to think, “How could this possibly happen?” one is also never overwhelmed by the bigness, the spectacle, the exasperating premise that louder is better. But the Whoa factor is in full effect, make no mistake.
Full of spit and verve best suited to an angry pirate, Dead Man’s Chest is full of what The Curse of the Black Pearl gave us. More of the same, in this instance, is well worth it, matey!
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest: ***
It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Posted by frothy in It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1963) on July 6, 2006
If you’re looking for something to occupy your time, a movie about which you don’t have to think very much, you might want to give this 1963 comedy a whirl. Don’t let the date fool you; the madcap hilarity is just as relevant today. Remember the movie Rat Race from a few years back? It was somewhat based on this movie, so if you enjoyed the newer one, there’s no question you’d love the original.
It starts out quite auspiciously. Jimmy Durante drives his car off a cliff in California, and as he’s dying among the rocks he imparts some words to passersby. He tells the gathered gang – which includes such comic greats as Milton Berele, Sid Caeser, Jonathan Winters, Buddy Hackett, and Mickey Rooney – that there’s $350,000 buried under a “big W” in (fictional) Santa Rosita. All they gotta do, see, is go there – several hundred miles away – and dig it up.
If only it’s that simple! Every comic actor, going back to the twenties, seems to show up in this movie. Some are in cahoots with the original passersby. Some are impedences. Some are cops, some are cabbies. Can you name another movie in which Mr. Furley (Don Knotts, as a nervous motorist) and Mr. Roper (Norman Fell, as a cop at the accident scene) both appear? I think not!
Fantastic comic scenes abound. Jim Backus passes out drunk while flying Hackett and Rooney, so Buddy has to take over. Caesar and his wife Edie Adams (Ernie Kovacs’ wife; he died a few months before filming began) find themselves locked in hardware store’s basement. Winters singlehandedly destroys a service station (Arnold Stang is one of the attendants).
It is, as the cool kids now say, comedy gold. It’s long – about 3 hours – but don’t worry, there’s an intermission on the DVD! No, seriously, there is. Pretty wacky. They don’t put intermissions in films anymore, even for long ones.
You might have fun trying to pick out who’s who – even the Three Stooges show up, as firemen. Andy Devine, Charles Lane, Charles McGraw, William Demarest, Ethel Merman, Terry-Thomas, Dick Shawn, and the voice of Selma Diamond (Night Court, anyone?) all appear. And they ain’t the half of it.
Anyway, it’s a huge amount of fun, and it’s clean enough for even your favorite nun to enjoy. Fantastic entertainment. Among the many highlights is the now-famous extended opening credits sequence. Oh, and a spot of trivia for you: At one point during those credits, the animated world explodes, unleashing for a moment the names of the animators. One of the names is that of Bill Melendez, who two years later would direct A Charlie Brown Christmas – and later scores of other Charlie Brown specials.
It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World: ****
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